ZOMBIE PAINTBALL PATROL

SPECIAL REPORT: ZOMBIES have been sighted in fields just west of
McCoard’s Garden Center, Provo, Utah. State and local authorities advise
all residents to converge on McCoard’s Garden Center from September 24th
through October 31st to rid our community of the zombie menace.

Earlier this spring the lead researcher and horticulturalist at
McCoard’s Garden Center began experiments to cross-breed and genetically
enhance corn by introducing a specially developed virus. The resulting
hybrid would continuously grow, even if deprived of sun and water, and
yield crops year round in all climates. The solution to world hunger was
finally in the grasp of humanity…then, everything went horribly wrong!

While moving the viral repository, three drums of live virus were
spilled. The resulting viral cloud quickly engulfed research greenhouses
annihilating research team members. As the cloud dissipated moving south
over the nursery all McCoard employees were infected. Employees were not
as fortunate as research team members; they did not die, but became part
of the living dead….ZOMBIES! Zombies now roam the fields west of Provo
feeding on human flesh.

Provo City and McCoard’s Garden Center urgently request your
assistance to free Provo of zombies before they spread the virus
beyond the limits of this community. To assist the community with
this goal, McCoard’s has developed an anti-viral solution that when
fired through a paintball delivery system at the zombies will give them
final rest. Our Zombie Patrol trailers allow you to shoot LIVE zombies
WITHOUT the return of live fire. The Zombie Paintball Patrol is completely
safe and suitable for families and all age groups.

See our hours and pricing section for more details.